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Ife agboola

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SELF LOVE


Recently, self-love has been something that we have come to profess a lot. Hashtag self-love trends a lot, especially for a really good looking selfie. Self-love is not just a hashtag. it is something that we should live out on a day to day basis. Something that we truly believe to the core of our person.


One of the things I discovered about myself was that although I professed self-love on the outside. I did not necessarily truly love myself. One of the things I believe that self-love truly stands for a commitment to becoming the best version of yourself possible and it won’t happen by merely wishing that you do or just saying it, you would have to match it with actions.


A commitment to developing yourself is something that you owe to you. You must constantly strive to become the best version of you possible. Make a valuable investment in yourself. Today, I went out to get a book because I really needed it for something urgent but I ended buying a couple of other books and I felt like I was spending more money than I planned, the thought I had at that moment was that if I had to buy a new dress and a new pair of jeans or a food’ wouldn’t I mind spending that much.

You are your most valuable asset. While looking good is a good thing, the content of our person would make us more appealing to people than our outward appearance. I know a number of people that don’t look so good on the outside but I am super drawn to them because of the value that they add.
Be tenacious about what you do to become a better you. That’s the best way to express self-love towards yourself.

When you add value to yourself you become a person of value. I once heard and I have seen that money and resources flow in the direction of value.
Olamidotun Votu-Obada : Securing your finances.

Set your finance goals. It is not too early to start. Don’t eat with all your fingers. Save some money and make some investments with your money also. Use technology for your finance e.g Piggy Bank NG, reach app.

Some myths about money:

·        Money is everything. No money is not everything. What you have in your hands is everything. What can do with your hands and your mind that’s everything.

·        Money comes on a platter of gold. Money  doesn’t come on a platter , it comes on a platter of work. Run away from quick money schemes.

Be a self starter. What are you trading for tomorrow? You have to be making some sacrifices today for the tomorrow you want to have. It won’t just fall on your laps. The greatest thing that you will have to  expend in achieving your dreams is YOU.
Nobody is going to trust you with millions of naira if you can’t effectively  handle thousands.

Loads of people attend conferences. How do you set yourself apart  from that number since it appears a lot of people have the same knowledge  that you do? The truth is that  only 10% would make sure of the things that they learnt at the conference.
Hi, so I am a conference junkie and so I spend a lot of time attending conferences and of course, I love to write. So I decided to share some of the lessons I learnt from listening to Kemi Lala Akindoju at the Wimbiz conference in OAU. She talked about turning your passion into a paycheck.



The first thing where turning your passion into a rain check is in getting skilled in what you are passionate about.

 “I went to Terraculture every day because I  knew in my mind that I wanted to be like  the people that went there. I spent hours daily doing research on actors and actresses I had just finished studying Insurance in the University. I would go to the cinema often and watch a movie at least twice because I was learning and observing.”-Kemi Lala


Get skilled by volunteering
People want to know what you have done before ( your work experience) before they begin to pay you for that they do. They are not unfair to ask about your experience. You can gain that experience by volunteering ( which is basically offering to work for free).


In the process of volunteering, you are learning and you are also able to show off what you can do.


Don’t show up with an entitled mentality, that people just have to help you. Instead, show them what you do first.


A  lot of times people say there is no employment, but if you offer to work for free as an intern someone would definitely take you in.


Finding your passion is your personal responsibility, nobody would do it for you. People would only offer you guidelines that can help you with discovering it. One of those helpful questions is what keeps you awake at night? And what thing do you do that gives you so much joy you wouldn’t even mind not being paid for it?


When money is your sole motivation for doing what you do. You are getting into a pit.

Take yourself seriously. People may not take you seriously because you may be in an unconventional profession. The first thing is to take your self seriously, carry yourself that way.


‘’People ask me why I take it so seriously. I tell them it is because this is my bread and my butter. Do you get in the way of a surgeon when he is preparing for surgery? So why should you get in my way?’’


The way you present yourself is important, people would respond to you that way.  It is also important because you are demanding people’s money from them, they want to be able to trust that you’d deliver.


Create the realities you want to see. Don’t present yourself like you are just starting out. Present yourself like you know your onions well. It’s important to study, research and prepare.



You have to return value for the money that people pay you for your service. If you are not returning value for the money they give you. You are an armed robber. You must deliver.

‘’I have performed to a crowd of 1 million and to one person and there was no difference in the quality of the performance”.

Your brain is really fantastic, the reason why you are not just generating results is that you are not tasking it. Have no shame, be ready to put in the work that it requires to get things done.

ATTRACTING A MENTOR: Don’t approach people like you are entitled, there are so many other people trying to get their attention as well.

‘’ When I met  Joke Silva, I asked to please allow me to help her carry her bag everywhere that she goes, I carried her bag on the set of the movie, Phone Swap, I was able to build relationships on set, I became the girl everyone practiced their lines with”.

When you are good at what you do, do not let people exploit you. They should pay well for your services also.

When you get the right foundation, the world is at your feet. Every single person has a capacity to change the world around them. Little drops of water make an ocean, which means the little actions taken every day add up.

 The difference lies in being able to change the little space around us. Every time I believe in something I would begin to talk about it and take action, this is putting seed in the ground.


The place of your birth, where you are from, your background, who your parents are circumstances that you have no control over and are facts that are absolutely irrelevant as to who you can become. Your poor background just helps to make a great story.


It is important that you do not start from a self-defeating perspective because of where you are from. You have the opportunity of education and that opens up your mind and empowers you.


Your education is not merely limited to a certificate that you get after school. You don’t have a complete knowledge of every other field, therefore a university education can be quite limited. The rest of life is school, every minute of life you would continue to learn.


Therefore it is important to recognize that everyone has some value to give to you. Having this mindset helps you draw out the value of each person. You cannot take from a person that which he is unwilling to give no matter how much you pay a person. Money is a good motivation. It has its limits.  People deliver more than expected when they are inspired.


To make a great world we need both genders to fully participate. Excluding women is like a company that keeps 50% of its resources in the warehouse and yet expects to generate 100% results, it doesn’t happen that way. Same applies to when a woman voluntarily chooses to deprive the world, Nigeria of the talents, gifting and the resources that she carries.


Every single citizen needs to have a sense of ownership and responsibility. A great nation is a great brand makes life easier for every citizen. The country rating has a lot to do with country perception index, which is basically how the country is viewed by the rest of the world. The country rating would, in turn, affect   companies and each individual in the long run. This is where it is also important to choose leaders only the basis and consideration of RIGHT THINKING.



Every year we say, we say HAPPY NEW YEAR, but the truth is that we are the ones that are going to decide whether it is going to be a happy new year or not.
It is our decision to make.


At the beginning of every year, prophecies are given about the truth but the truth is that a lot of people never live in the reality of those prophecies. I have lived through years when amazing things were said at the beginning of the year and honestly the year just went by like that and nothing really happened.

Many times we go through life unconsciously, like just doing the routine, sleeping, waking up, going to church, work and classes without really any measure of deliberateness about our approach. 


We need to get deliberate about how we live. Our goals and our aspirations.

The truth lies in that many of us don’t even have goals at all. This isn’t a call to have life all figured out or to have pristine and precisely plans but rather to get conscious about how we live. To want something from life and to pursue that thing, to live deliberately towards that aim.


From time to time as we get more knowledge and exposure, what we want we would change. We would dream bigger dreams and sometimes aspire to something completely different from the path that we were on before because now we have a better understanding.

A new year is starting let’s ask the questions of What do I want this new year? it’s okay to actually be at a place where you don’t know exactly what you want, but the truth is there must be something you want, whether it is to do better financially, a new job, new relationships, to migrate etc. Everyone wants something.

The next question would be what can I do differently in the coming year. Many times we are able to point out what we desire, the question we often do not ask is the how to do it?

A particular month I wrote that I wanted to get a particular sum of money that was quite huge. So yes, I had a goal, but the question was I didn’t write down how I intended to do this, neither did I constantly go back to my goals to review them and remind myself. So at the end of the month, it was no surprise I wasn’t able to.


All the new and better things that we intend for ourselves, would not just show up on a platter of gold.A new job ould requires new and improved skills, so would new relationships require work and improvement of our character, self-confidence, coming out of our shell and so on.

We must be ready to commit to improving ourselves, becoming the best version of us that how the new year is going to be new and awesome. the preparation doesn’t start in January, the preparation starts now. 

Let’s commit the few weeks left this year to learning and learning. It would less time scrolling on your timeline and more like googling stuff and reading books but it would be worth the while.



Have you ever had to shut down?


                                 For me, the answer is yes, I have had to do that a lot of times. Just shut down. I am super crazy about learning and stuff like that. So  I found myself watching every informative live video on Instagram and reading every free e-book I could find. I think I almost lost my mind because that was me being everything and everyone at once and I just didn’t know who to be again because so many options were just staring me in the face.


                  
              
    That’s why decluttering is a good idea.  I decided wanted to declutter but I was really focused on doing that in my physical surrounding that I forgot most of the real work had happened in my mind space and if I wanted to free up space and get focus and clarity I had to spend less time on social media looking at everything.

                          I just decided to quietly ask myself who I am or just get some sleep or take a long walk talking to God and talking to myself. There is so much on social media jumping at us. I am not talking about the bad stuff but I mean all the educative and informative stuff but we really can’t absorb everything in.

I am currently working on a plan on how to spend less time on social media and more time with myself ad God. Maybe id try a school day with my phone at home.

How are you going to declutter and clear up space in your mind and soul?

                                  Happy new month, it’s really hard to believe that 2017 is almost over. It’s like yesterday that we said the happy new years! Really time doesn’t wait for anyone.


                                 Earlier this year, I remember listening to a Myles Munroe message about time, about redeeming the time and being productive in the use of time because every individual has a countdown including the universe itself. I remember the day after listening to that I took my time more seriously but it just looks like as the days went by I gradually forgot my commitment to make the best use of my time.

                                     Basically right now it’s like 8 weeks to the end of 2017. I don’t think I have been able to do everything I hoped I would do this year. A lot of projects still pending, but I am grateful for the thing God has enabled me to do.


                            Right now thinking about the fact that the year is about to end we may be a mixture of different feelings, and maybe the feeling that not enough has been done but I believe how to move forward is by being thankful for the things that have been accomplished already.


                                         On the other hand  lot can happen in 8 weeks, I think a good way to start the month would be to first ask questions from God ( what would you have me do this month) and put down our plans and goals for the month and just put them somewhere we can see them often to remind us.


                             Personally, I am thinking of making a vision board where I would just put my goals into pictures and hang it up and look at it every day.


Sometimes the odd thing about goal setting is not even knowing which goals you want to set exactly or which aspirations to have. It happens to me a lot. Well, what I just do is set a goal for personal development then. Like a conference to attend or a book to read or some training to participate in. From that point, it’s just easier to figure out the rest.

             I wish you a super productive month.


Lessons I learnt from my  mentoring session with Olori Ajayi


First I must say that she is a breathtakingly beautiful woman, the first thing that struck me about her that day watching her was her style she was dressed really simple but there was a lot of elegance around and about her.


I got the opportunity to meet Olori based on the premise that I would multiply whatever it is that I heard that I learned and this is a part of it. Me sharing what I learnt with you, I am honored that you decided to read this! Let’s jump right into it!!


She talked about the importance of relationships and building your network.  That’s it’s great to have the right people around you and how certain relationships may be for a seasonal period in our lives and also how we sometimes have to let go of people and build new relationships although it is really important to be able to discern the timing also.


For me, my personal experience around is that I love my friends very dearly( maybe I don’t show it much) I got to a certain point where some individuals began to feel like weigh because they weren’t seeing what I was seeing and they had gotten too complacent and weren’t stretching themselves to go on to the other side. We are still friends but I cannot depend on them for support for that journey ahead, I know that to that end those relationships won’t suffice otherwise we would both just decide to wallow our mediocrity together.


Many times let’s be unemotional or sentimental about it and face it that we need new friends & relationships. We need to get deliberate about our relationships and trust God to lead us to know when that relationship comes.


Apart from friendships, she also talked about mentorship relationships. That we need mentors but we must also learn how to cherish, maximize and honour mentors and that sometimes that relationship has a specific time and purpose and we should be able to discern that.

She also talked about getting aggressive with who you are and what you do. That is she explained that Dangote is the richest man in Africa but he isn’t the only rich man, the only difference is that he has the biggest piece of the pie. And that in different areas and industries there is a pie. In your industry, you should aspire to have more and more the pie, don’t just settle to be okay. There are leaders in that industry aspire to be one of the leaders there. If not ‘ the leader’.


She also spoke about a certain aggressiveness and tenacity towards your dreams and goals. Where you have an idea today and execute it tomorrow! Not where you keep waiting and waiting to execute.  Just start right away!
JUST DO IT.
Dare to succeed, just go for it first and trust God!



 Sometimes you would do the thinking on your feet and on the move. Follow your heart and get rid of distractions. That there are certain things that look like opportunities and other things that you could be doing in your field but sometimes they are really distractions. Just focus on that part that you have chosen.


She talked about fear also, that often times the fear of failure, the fear of whether it would work or not is what would take you back to what you think can work, will drag you back into your safety net ( the comfort zone).


Someone asked her whether she was afraid of failing. She said no, that she believes that God would prosper even her mistakes.  That statement definitely got me!! I have since believed that it brought me to a deeper level of trusting God.


Another thing that got me was that she said when you start feeling tired and feel like giving up, don’t. That instead channel that uneasiness into WHAT NEXT.  Into asking questions and taking steps towards the next thing to do.


Last, you don’t have to wait till later in life to succeed, you should start now! You don’t have to wait till your forty.  You can start having it now!
Another things she said was about doing stuff together with your spouse., that the labour of one individual is good but that when two people do business/ work together there is a better reward. That as a couple that should be a business/work being done despite the separate things each individual has to do.


I couldn’t really capture everything that was said. But I hope something jumps at you from reading this. I am really delighted  that you decided to read this, please share your thoughts with me.



Last month I had this amazing privilege of having lunch with someone I really look up to , Olori Ajayi. I think I’d start by talking about the law of attraction, I have heard about it but honestly I haven’t really paid any attention to it, just yesterday when Edirin Edewor mentioned in her audio broadcast, I found it to be true, and that it had been working for me for a while I just didn’t pay attention. 

The general idea is that if you want something so bad the universe is not going to have any other option but to bring that thing to you. It’s true. That’s exactly how I found myself having lunch with her.

 Olori Ajayi is one of the women that I really look up to and I stalk all over social media, I remember even going to Youtube to search for if she has any content put up there so I can also feed on it. She is a fashionpreneur and I like her so much because she is pragmatic person and actually get things done and works really hard. I really desired to meet her, I had seen her like twice at church and the thing is I am not really good at walking up to people and introducing myself etc ( that’s a complex I have to get rid of though)then also there were like loads of people around her. 
 I prayed that God would bring create an opportunity for me to meet her.  For the time being I settled that I would be mentored by her from away(I am of the opinion there is a difference between a mentor and a coach, a mentor is not someone you have to know personally but a coach is someone who you have personal access to and actually follows you through the process).
Then one day I saw it on her page on instagram (@oloriboye loads of great stuff happening on her page, you should follow her page) that for her birthday they would be 4 slots for  mentees to have lunch with her. I just walked past because I thought well, there would be loads of people trying to get that spot. She can’t possibly choose me.


Honestly I must say that pattern of thinking is very negative and unhealthy, because a part of me felt like I wasn’t good enough or deserving. I can’t go far thinking that way, you can’t either if you think that way about yourself. Through the person that you are in Christ you are enough you must know and believe that. 


Does this cross out the room for self improvement ? No, it doesn’t! Keep growing and developing yourself. Your personal development is your own responsibility nobody else’s but Its really important that you believe right about yourself.
To shorten the story I eventually decided that I would try anyway (that was a week later though). Guess what ?? I was picked. The point of this long talk is that don’t doubt yourself. There is no harm in trying. If the answer is No. you would try again next time or try again else where but please give it a try first. You any be doubting yourself ( I still do that) but in spite of the fear and the doubt still try.


The second thing is about the law of attraction, if you deire something long enough it would happen. Everyday I earnestly desired that I would have an opportunity to meet her, I talked with my friends about her almost everyday,  followed her tenaciously, I talked to God about it and it finally happened! 
That’s not the only thing the law of attraction has worked for me countless times. For example, I started saying I wanted to write a book, in the few weeks, just surfing on instagram led me to the profile of a really successful author @edirinedewor and I was able to have a short conversation and I felt really encouraged to start out on my book.


What do you want so badly?? Talk to God about it, talk to yourself about it, talk to your friends about it, put it in your face all the time it would come to you!
I really look forward to reading your responses, please comment if this blessed you.

 Its a few weeks to my 21st  birthday and I must admit that I am feeling a  certain unrest.  The last few days  I have been  just focused on all the things that haven’t been working and all the things that I am yet to achieve on the other hand i have also learnt to look back and be grateful for  all the amazing things that God has given me the strength to brave through. 


I believe strongly that that feeling of negativity  i was feeling came from comparing myself to other people. Comparison is in deed a greatest thief of joy. I kept looking around to what other people have been up to and it just made me feel like I wasn’t enough or I hadn’t done enough. the truth that I saw in this was many of the people I was comparing myself to, we weren’t on the same level, I haven’t had the experiences or put in the work and the time that they had so why was I comparing myself? Life is a process and I should allow that process  also.

There is a great side to this  feeling of uneasiness, the hunger for more and to be much more because in life we would always need that push to stretch ourselves  to the next level. There is a big danger of getting attached to a certain comfort zone. I have learnt the comfort zone is a very beautiful place where nothing beautiful grows from.

The other thing I learnt to do was to be deliberate about thinking about the past and the plenty things to be grateful to God even all the bad stuff because I have seen God stay true to his promises to make everything work together for good every time.