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A lot of times the journey to becoming who we desire to be might ahead appear to be really daunting, where we are in place that doesn’t look so much like our dreams ad we have no idea how our dreams are going to happen.

But don’t give up yet! At the becoming Conference, I learnt some pretty simple ways to get there!

I had a really amazing time at the Ladies of Delight Foundation Conference over the weekend. I wrote about my experience in my last blog post. This is the second part of the series I am writing about the conference. You can catch up on the first post here.

The second speaker at the Leading Ladies Conference themed becoming was Modupe Lanre-Akinsiun finished from the university with a low class of degree, a class of degree that indicated that she was less likely to lead a successful life.

Today, she is a certified John C Maxwell, Coach speaker and trainer as well as an award-winning Hr Professional who has managed operations for a leading Pharmaceutical firm covering more than 10 nations. She is a regular guest on TV Stations across the city of Lagos, Nigeria and hosts a radio show.

She had been able to lead a first class life using a first class attitude to life and work.

From the second speaker, I learnt that the first thing on the journey to becoming is actually finding out your destination.

Finding out exactly where you are headed to. Maybe not exactly but having a good idea of where you are headed.

The next thing to do is to find out what your destination requires, like for example, if you are headed to America you want to find out the requirements for an American Visa.

When you have found out some of the things that you’d need in your journey, get strategic about your learning.

Draw out a growth plan for the areas that you would need to grow and the materials that you need in that area.

So you are not just reading any book randomly you are reading books and getting materials on the area where you need growth.

On the journey of becoming, growth is really important. A lot of people say they want to grow but how badly do you want to grow?

This is because the proof of desire is pursuit. You’d have to invest in your growth. How much are you willing to invest in your growth?

Generally, we tend to pay a lot of attention to our outward appearance but ignore developing our inner parts.

Invest more in your brain than in your looks.

You must be willing to make an investment and go all the way not stop midway with your growth journey.

On our journey, we would gather knowledge, but knowledge is potential power, the difference is dependent on what we do with what we know.

On our becoming journey, self-discovery is important. Discovery is something that we best find in solitude( in our alone time) so we want to cultivate having personal time.

Role models and mentors are also important on this journey. Learn from mentors and role models and emulate what’s working for them.

Develop a good relationship with them. Don’t have a use and dump attitude to mentorship where a person is only relevant to you as far you are learning from them or you feel like you have outgrown them, so you cut off the relationship.

Develop and maintain a long-lasting relationship.

We sometimes experience inertia which is a general resistance to our growth on our becoming journey.

Some can take the form of

Need for Clarity:

A lot of times we claim that what’s holding us back is our need for clarity. Clarity doesn’t necessarily come in a place of waiting for it to come but when you begin to take steps using the knowledge that you already have.

Weights:

We travel a lot faster when we travel lighter. Some of our associations may actually be weights because they are the ones holding us back.

Laziness:

Generally, some people are just lazy, and that’s what is holding them back. Not willing to put work or diligence into their journey.

Leadership is not about being assigned or role. It’s about what we make of what has been given to us.

The big question is not about where her we are male or female but that we can create results.

I hope you found this post helpful. This is the second part of the first blog post about the BECOMING CONFERENCE, here’s the first part.

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Hey there!

It’s been a long time since I wrote here on my blog. I took a short unintended break, it actually just started from procrastination. Every day I said I was going to write the next day and when the next day came, I said I’d write the following day and it turned into months.

So here’s my advice:

Stop procrastinating!  I guess you’ve likely heard that before and you still did. I learnt something from Mel Robbins, she wrote a book called the 5 seconds Rule, which basically is Do it in 5 seconds don’t hesitate.

You see your brain is designed to protect you and keep you comfortable, so after a while, it begins to talk to you out of doing things but might potentially offset your comfort or your routine or take you out of your comfort zone so you don’t want to give it that processing time.

Send that email, text or make that call. Get up from the bed, pick up that book, go to that place. Whatever it is at all…

Just get up and do it!

The second reason why I wasn’t writing was that I got discouraged. I kept waking up to look at my site stats and saw that not so many people were reading my posts, it made me feel really terrible so I began to question everything. I got thoughts like maybe I am writing nonsense etc or I am not good enough and I began to compare myself to other bloggers.

Now, I have realised that its not about how the numbers make me feel. It is about people; loving people,  serving people and reaching people. So it’s not about how seeing large numbers make me feel, it’s about wanting to serve that one person that read it with something valuable.

What I have learnt :

  1. Comparison totally kills you! Stop comparing your beginning to someone else’s middle or end. Every blogger started somewhere. Instead be more interested in knowing what helped them to grow not comparing.
  2. Face your own work and up your game. If it’s not working then you aren’t doing something right or you aren’t doing something enough. Improve the quality of your work. Get wisdom.
  3. It’s absolutely okay to ask for help, don’t be too proud or too timid to ask for help. If you need help in a certain area,  ask someone who can help you. The worst thing is getting a ‘No’ and it won’t kill you.

Also. you can talk to your friends and trusted people if you are experiencing discouragement. Stop trying to keep it to yourself and act strong.  Their friendship and support go a long way to help.

Another part is there is no Quick fix or shortcut! I listened to Gary Vee’s talk about how he kept podcasting, writing for more than 2 years and nobody cared to listen to him or agree with his views. He was one of the first set of investors in Facebook and a lot of other ventures that have grossed billions now that no one believed in when they started out.

He met a  young Youtuber, he had only one advice for the 7-year-old boy. Don’t ever bother about the number of people watching you or subscribed to your channel or the number of followers but focus on giving out great content and getting better at it. It’s only a matter of time.

Summarily, stop comparing, procrastination and just get around to doing. The only cure for procrastination is DOING. What’s your dream? What are you working on? Stop worrying about whether or people would listen to you, focus on giving value and serving people.

I hope you found this helpful! Kindly, like, comment & share!

God, are you there?

Have you had any of those moments lately? I have had a whole of those. It is a new week today.

I have learnt that God cannot be assessed based on our feelings, whether or not it feels like he is there with us, he is always here. Never flinching, never leaving.

Start this week with conversations with God. Whether silent conversations in your mind, written notes in journals or on sheets of paper or lying on your bed and talking out loud or kneeling whichever suits you. Talk to God, even if it feels like you are speaking to the thin air. He is listening to you.

Allow yourself to dream, take a moment, close your eyes and picture what you want this week to be like for you. Use your imagination. Raise your hopes. We run better when we have a picture in front of us.

You may be attempting new things this week, I just want you to know that even though it might feel like God isn’t there, he is right there with you never leaving and he is supporting you every step of the way.

Whatever the mistakes and shortcomings of last week were. Continue again. Stay grounded. Forgive last week’s failings and look ahead to what this new week brings.

You do not have to be scared whether it is going to be a good week or not. It is definitely going to be a good week. This week with God on your side you need to challenge yourself to be more and do more.

Don’t just start this week haphazardly like every other week, sit down and decide what exactly you want to do this week and what you hope to achieve this week. Keeping in mind that anything at all is possible. Write your goals for the week down, it doesn’t have to be a list of 100 items. It can be a list of 1. One thing that you want to achieve this week.

God wants you to be great. It represents his name well. Therefore do not settle for mediocrity.

This week you must be a good steward of your time and selectively use it only for the things that matter, wherever you are at right now is a direct product of how you used your time. Every man rich or poor has been given this gift of time God, therefore, you must resolve to use your time well. I wrote extensively about using your time here.

This week remember to be kind, remember to love others. Remember that it is not only about yourself but about other people. This is why you must use the gifts that you have given to help others.If you can sing, use that voice for others if you can speak, edify with your words if you can write, share what you know with others.

This week resolve to be a blessing to your world. Sometimes we are waiting or the time when we would have more resources to be a blessing. Be a blessing with what you have right now.

Of course, grow this week. Grow intentionally and deliberately! Read a book, attend a conference, watch a webinar, do some research on google. Grow!

Get out of bed, that’s not where dreams are fulfilled.

Hello, Happy new month!

Welcome to March. My deepest desire is that we take big leaps and move forward this month.

2018 seems to be going so fast already. That’s two months off the year. Time really waits for nobody! Who said a new year is only January 1? A new year really begins when you desire something is going to change with you. So please own this month!

For me, a new month is usually time to evaluate how I have spent my time the previous month. Time is the greatest resource that we have on earth, whether we are rich or poor. Our outcome is based on how we spent the time that we had. Everyone gets the same 24hours. One of the biggest battles that we would ever fight is the one for our time. So many things are trying to steal our time.

One of the things that I learnt while evaluating last year, I realized that I had not given a lot of thought to thinking and analyzing how I was spending my time or even keeping track on my progress.  This last month there, a couple of things that stole my time: social media, unnecessary conversations, oversleeping, the list goes on…

What’s stealing your time? It is very important to be able to point out what you do with your time and the benefit of those activities.

Honestly, I have a lot of unmet goals for the previous month. You know what we don’t do when things aren’t working the way we want it to do is  SHUT DOWN. Please don’t consider shutting down this month based on the experiences of the last two months.

I won’t forget what my mentor said a bad month is not a bad year. There is nothing wrong if you haven’t done as much as you would have liked to do and don’t allow other people’s successes to put you under pressure. Rather be inspired by their success and if their success puts you under pressure or makes you feel unhappy and depressed stop looking at them, simple solution yeah?  This is what social media does to us a lot of times especially Instagram, we can get so consumed watching other people’s successes that we forget to tend our own garden.

The grass isn’t greener on the other side you know, the grass is greener where you water it. Social media is the biggest blessing and curse all in one. One of the suggestions I have for you this month is to use social media to your advantage.

Use social media to project your brand and spread your message and use social media to learn.  Mentorship cannot be overemphasized and sometimes some of the biggest difficulties that we encounter is being able to share the same space with that person that you view as a mentor who is ‘up there’. However, social media allows the opportunity to share the same space. They actually share a lot of things on social media now. Take advantage of that, use it learn. What I do is pick my pen and jotter or make screenshots on my phone that I would refer to later.

Eliminate things that aren’t adding value to you. Eliminate the things and people that are putting you under pressure. That’s why they also included unfollow and unfriend buttons. If social media isn’t working for you as a whole, QUIT. Take a break or something.

LEARN!

This March determine to move forward. Learn! Learn aggressively every way you can, Take advantage of conferences, seminars, webinars, learning groups everything! Just be learning and improving every day.

I think a great way to begin this month is to pick a pen and paper and if you are more digital use your phone, tab, computer. Personally, I prefer writing my thoughts on paper. Think about February, how did you spend February? What are the achievements and failures of the month and what could you have done differently in February?

For example, in February I procrastinated a lot and I didn’t do many of the things that I planned to do. So that’s one of the things I want to do differently in March. It is very important to evaluate. That is how we move our lives forward on purpose.

We talk a whole lot about goal setting and I have discovered that few of us actually set any goals. Even sometimes when I talk about goal setting, I didn’t set goals myself. Perhaps, since January, you haven’t written any goals yet. It’s time to do that. It doesn’t have to be a list of 100 things. It could just be one thing. Although you are bigger than one thing, so you can do more than 1 thing.

Another thing that would really help is for you to get a VISION BOARD. If collecting and printing pictures is to difficult for you, just make a collage on your phone or laptop instead.

The reason why it is important is because our mind thinks in pictures and not in words. If I mention bag to you, what you immediately do is picture a bag in your head. Getting pictures of goals gives your minds something to focus on. I highly recommend that you do that.

A vision board is when you put the things that you desire or aim to achieve in pictures. I have vision boards for a different set of desires. I would share one beneath of a collage I made of women who have done things that I admire and I desire to do the same and even more, it’s on my laptop background so everything I start working on my laptop I see it everything as a reminder. I’d write an extensive post on vision-boarding later.

I also attached a blueprint on vision boarding Vision Board Blueprint.

vision board.png

If you aren’t really clear on what your goals are, my biggest suggestion is  GROW. Set a growth plan. Sometimes, there is this pressure to have it all figured out especially when the questions come and when it looks like everyone else has it all figured out except you of course!

You might be asking, so how I grow? by learning actually. My biggest suggestion is read more books, visit more blogs, use google a lot more.  Loads of things you can do actually but just ensure that you are DELIBERATE about it.

It’s not true, most people are only WINGING IT! They’ve come to understand that I don’t have it all figured out and yet while I don’t. I won’t pause, I would just keep on moving, continuing what I am doing and putting efforts consistently on a daily basis and figure it out on the way.

Every day just ensure that you are doing something that is moving you forward. An activity that is making you a better version of you. As you grow, you begin to see more and then begin to figure it out.

This March don’t play safe. Safe has not helped plenty people. DARE! Do more than you have attempted before. Force yourself out of your comfort zone and attempt something that you never have before. I’d share my story in the next post of I had to confront my mediocrity and push myself out of my comfort zone in February. It paid off!

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Happy new month once again! Remember you are the one that really determines whether this month would be happy or not! Every month is a happy month. God has already loaded the month with amazing things!

I created a Facebook network where we can connect, please come around and join in on the conversations. You can join here.

Remember it’s not just what you know that matters. It is what you know and use. Perhaps in this post, you read nothing new because they were things you already knew, it doesn’t matter so far you are not using it. Start using it!

 

 

Hello, happy new year.

How was your 2017?

2018

I recently just came to the realization that is a year is actually pretty shorter than I thought it to be. A year is just about 52 weeks and 365 days doesn’t sound so long. Another narrative I explored was that what if the Gregorian calendar we used was set differently, a year might have been longer or shorter and the new year would have definitely been at a different time.

The point I am getting at is that there is nothing super new about the days. It is our consciousness that is new. Whether it is going to be a happy new year or not might be solely left to our decisions and the actions that we take on them.

In preparing for the year, I tried to highlight a number of things that I would like to do this year. I came up with a really long list. Then it struck me that I might not be able to accomplish these things if I am the exact same person I was last year, having the same attitude, methods, approach and beliefs. I would at best repeat the success of the previous years or maybe slightly better.

Another thing I realised in reviewing the year was that one of the biggest mistakes I made was my failure to evaluate. Day by day, month by month, I had failed to evaluate how exactly I had spent it, so I could make adjustments. Many of us may be guilty of this also. I came up with a solution for this though. I am creating a customized journal that allows doing weekly evaluations of the things done right and wrong, set action points and also goals for the new week. You can preorder it here.

Putting together those two ideas, I would say that you have to make a commitment to becoming better. You have to make a commitment to growth. 2017 I grew incidentally not intentionally. I could have grown faster if I had chosen to be deliberate about improving myself. Glory to God for the incidental growth!
Be deliberate about growth. These are some of the ways that you can grow:

You

Books: Decide to read a couple more books in 2018. A lot of times we are not effective with our reading because we are reading randomly. Don’t just read randomly. Decide the areas where you need to improve, seek more knowledge in those areas. For me, one of the areas I want to improve is managing and creating wealth so I would read books in that line, some of the other areas for me is public speaking, writing and blogging. I would also be seeking knowledge in that area.

 PODCASTS & AUDIOBOOKS: these are really useful to get your learning done on the go. Podcasts are mostly free. So this is you learning a lot of things at no cost at all. You can listen to podcasts and audiobooks on the go, in transit and even as you get other tasks done. can replace some of your talk time with listening and some of the time you spend listening to music to learn something by the side.

 BLOGS: There are so many blogs that share a lot of useful information on different areas. Make a habit of reading blog posts and yes subscribe to newsletters also. Those emails can really be of great help.

 YOUTUBE: There are thousands of resources on YouTube that can help with practically anything at all. I have a lot of different skills just searching how to… this new year maximize YouTube. YouTube is also a great learning tool because our mind works quite visually also.

 GOOGLE: When in doubt, Google. When you are not in the doubt, Google. Google is an extremely good learning tool. Everything is on Google.

 SOCIAL MEDIA: Since we get to spend a lot of time on social media these days, why not just maximize that time. Apart from entertaining content and all. There are a lot of other great resources on the social media. Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and other sites.

Follow your mentors very closely on social media. There is so much you would learn from what they share on social media without even having physical access to them.
I would write a post soon on a list of people I follow on social media that have been of great good to me and how to maximize following a mentor on social media.

There is so much I would like to share but… this post is getting too long and our attention spans seem to be pretty short these days. I hope you found this helpful. If you did, please leave me feedback in the comment section.

Happy New Year once again! Cheers to Growth this year.

I just want to share one of the biggest lessons that I learnt this year. Most of us have recounted amazing times but the truth is that we all had a particular share of pain and disappointment and no doubt some mistakes were made.

This is a major thing I have realized reflecting on the year that I did not properly take time to evaluate through the year, many of us are guilty of this same offence. Our failure to evaluate how each week , each day, each month and quarter was spent. Often times our response when we make a mistake is to try to get over it right? If you are like me, you would opt in for selective amnesia and just try to completely obliterate the memory of the mistake. That method has its pros and cons.

I used to be a big perfectionist. I used the past tense because I hope I am getting better. I always want to be viewed as perfect and without a single blemish. Therefore, whenever I made a single mistake, I would mull over it for days talking to myself over and over about and just unable to let go of it. Plus, I am also a fixer (we fixers like to fix mistakes and redeem our image, you know what I mean set it straight) and the truth about being that way is that you can get super obsessive over your mistakes.

One of the biggest lessons for me was realising that I cannot control every outcome, I cannot fix every situation or make everything right or talk or do my way out of stuff. I learnt that it is really important to choose to take my own forgiveness, which is forgive myself for the mistakes I have made. Also, to receive the forgiveness that people would extend to me. I learnt to just allow things to be and let it go. I decided to take responsibility for my actions and simply take my hands off the wheel and trust God to fix it. God always shows up. I have learnt now to simply just talk to him about it and let him take care of it. In deciding to take responsibility for my actions; I also learnt that I am responsible, that Jesus is now responsible for me and by extension responsible for my mistakes. So I could simply just trust him with it.

The point I am really trying to make is that in a bid to quickly forget or get over my mistakes, we often miss one crucial step. Which is extract the lesson from the mistake. After getting the lesson from the mistake you are now free to let go and completely deliberately forget about it. Usually, the questions to ask are: What can I learn from this? How can I do better? How can I do things differently next time? We need to get the lesson out of every mistake so that we don’t end up repeating the same action next time without even knowing it.

There are people around us that would try to remind us of our mistakes, and would continue to view us as the person that we were or see us through the lenses of our mistakes. You must decide not to allow those kinds of people audience with you no matter how close they are to you. If they cannot choose to forgive you and make attempts to forget how you failed., you may have to create a distance between you and them. At least for some time till you are stronger in your resolve. Retaining constant memory of your mistakes won’t allow you to move forward.
Surround yourself with people and things that encourage you to be better. Personally, I decide to listen to my messages and sermons and find scriptures that talk about the forgiveness I have received and encourages me to move forward. Sometimes, I talk to friend who would encourage me to be better.

Whatever you have to do, do not shut down or give up on yourself. Continue, over and over. No matter how many times you falter, keep on going. Get up and dust yourself up. Continue!

I really hope that you found this article helpful! I look forward to receiving great feedback from you.