I just want to share one of the biggest lessons that I learnt this year. Most of us have recounted amazing times but the truth is that we all had a particular share of pain and disappointment and no doubt some mistakes were made.
This is a major thing I have realized reflecting on the year that I did not properly take time to evaluate through the year, many of us are guilty of this same offence. Our failure to evaluate how each week , each day, each month and quarter was spent. Often times our response when we make a mistake is to try to get over it right? If you are like me, you would opt in for selective amnesia and just try to completely obliterate the memory of the mistake. That method has its pros and cons.
I used to be a big perfectionist. I used the past tense because I hope I am getting better. I always want to be viewed as perfect and without a single blemish. Therefore, whenever I made a single mistake, I would mull over it for days talking to myself over and over about and just unable to let go of it. Plus, I am also a fixer (we fixers like to fix mistakes and redeem our image, you know what I mean set it straight) and the truth about being that way is that you can get super obsessive over your mistakes.
One of the biggest lessons for me was realising that I cannot control every outcome, I cannot fix every situation or make everything right or talk or do my way out of stuff. I learnt that it is really important to choose to take my own forgiveness, which is forgive myself for the mistakes I have made. Also, to receive the forgiveness that people would extend to me. I learnt to just allow things to be and let it go. I decided to take responsibility for my actions and simply take my hands off the wheel and trust God to fix it. God always shows up. I have learnt now to simply just talk to him about it and let him take care of it. In deciding to take responsibility for my actions; I also learnt that I am responsible, that Jesus is now responsible for me and by extension responsible for my mistakes. So I could simply just trust him with it.
The point I am really trying to make is that in a bid to quickly forget or get over my mistakes, we often miss one crucial step. Which is extract the lesson from the mistake. After getting the lesson from the mistake you are now free to let go and completely deliberately forget about it. Usually, the questions to ask are: What can I learn from this? How can I do better? How can I do things differently next time? We need to get the lesson out of every mistake so that we don’t end up repeating the same action next time without even knowing it.
There are people around us that would try to remind us of our mistakes, and would continue to view us as the person that we were or see us through the lenses of our mistakes. You must decide not to allow those kinds of people audience with you no matter how close they are to you. If they cannot choose to forgive you and make attempts to forget how you failed., you may have to create a distance between you and them. At least for some time till you are stronger in your resolve. Retaining constant memory of your mistakes won’t allow you to move forward.
Surround yourself with people and things that encourage you to be better. Personally, I decide to listen to my messages and sermons and find scriptures that talk about the forgiveness I have received and encourages me to move forward. Sometimes, I talk to friend who would encourage me to be better.
Whatever you have to do, do not shut down or give up on yourself. Continue, over and over. No matter how many times you falter, keep on going. Get up and dust yourself up. Continue!
I really hope that you found this article helpful! I look forward to receiving great feedback from you.